If I had a wife,
I would have made it already.
Let’s just be honest.
If I had a wife,
my dreams would have been funded with clean laundry,
cooked meals, and free emotional support.
I would have woken up to hot tea,
a folded outfit, and someone gently saying,
“Go conquer the world, love, I’ll handle the rest.”
If I had a wife,
I wouldn’t need a morning pep talk, I’d already feel like greatness.
I’d glide out of the house with a full stomach and an ego that’s been gently polished overnight.
I wouldn’t be worrying about groceries, bills, homework, or why the gas ran out at 7 a.m.
No. I’d be worrying about my purpose.
My vision board.
My “empire.”
If I had a wife,
my child’s homework would magically be done.
Doctor’s appointments scheduled.
Uniforms clean.
The universe aligned.
The sun would rise at my convenience,
and apparently, so would my confidence.
If I had a wife,
I would be a man
who gets called “hardworking” for doing the bare minimum
and “brilliant” for ideas that came to me after eight hours of uninterrupted sleep.
Because someone else stayed up to make sure life didn’t fall apart.
If I had a wife,
I’d walk into every room like God personally picked me for success.
Why wouldn’t I?
I’d have the wind at my back,
the home in order,
the meals waiting,
the child thriving,
and a personal cheerleader who calls my laziness “potential.”
If I had a wife,
I wouldn’t be this tired.
I wouldn’t be a one-woman circus act spinning ten plates,
balancing ambition on my head while folding laundry with my toes.
I’d be a visionary.
A genius.
A man with “a good woman behind him.”
And the world would clap.
Loud.
For me.
If I had a wife,
I wouldn’t have to choose between dreaming big and surviving small.
Between rest and responsibility.
Between empire and exhaustion.
I would simply have both.
If I had a wife,
I’d be the one giving speeches on stages,
while she adjusts my collar, fixes my tie,
and makes sure there’s food in the fridge when I get home.
She’d know my favorite meal.
And my moods.
And my socks that never seem to pair themselves.
She’d pray for me when I forget to pray.
She’d love me in ways I wouldn’t even think to return.
And I,
I’d post her on my birthday with a long caption.
That’s it. That’s the reciprocity.
If I had a wife,
I’d be “a family man.”
A respectable citizen.
A legend.
A pillar of the community.
People would say “He’s such a good dad”
because I carried the baby once and smiled in a photo.
If I had a wife,
I’d be further by now.
Not because I’m more capable,
but because history has proven how easy it is to climb
when someone else is holding the ladder steady.
If I had a wife,
I’d be free to dream without the drag of dishes.
Free to chase purpose without packing lunch boxes.
Free to rest without guilt.
Free to focus without splitting my soul in twelve directions at once.
But I don’t have a wife.
I am the wife.
The cook. The cleaner. The planner. The parent. The therapist.
The one holding the ladder steady.
And let’s be real,
this is why so many women are choosing differently now.
Choosing to build soft lives without being the unpaid staff in someone else’s destiny story.
Choosing to love themselves more than they love a title.
Choosing peace over a partnership that feels like labor in lipstick.
Because some of us grew up watching our mothers become
invisible superheroes,
while the men they held together got medals for breathing.
We watched aunties and sisters and neighbors bend until they snapped.
Watched them serve love on silver platters to men who never learned to wash a plate.
Watched them build kingdoms they’d never be crowned for.
And so we whispered, quietly but firmly,
“Not me.”
If I had a wife,
I’d be unstoppable.
But since I don’t,
I’ll stop waiting for someone else to be my softness.
I’ll still build my empire.
I’ll still rise.
I’ll still dream.
But I’ll do it knowing the system wasn’t made for my wings.
I’ll fly anyway.
And maybe one day,
someone will stand beside me, not beneath, not behind, beside.
But until then,
I’ll keep giving myself the kind of love the world forgot to offer women.
Because if I had a wife,
I’d have it easy.
But since I am the wife,
I’ll just have to be extraordinary.
